Staying Independent: How to Turn Fear into Empowerment When Discussing Care
The reality is, most older Australians want to stay at home for as long as possible. They often fear the loss of independence and ability, leading them to hide signs of struggle, including falls or difficulties they are experiencing.
As a carer, you need to understand this deeply rooted fear. Our latest episode unpacks how to approach this delicate conversation, turning the idea of 'getting help' into a strategy for 'staying independent'.
"If your goal is to stay at your home, what do you need? What can we help with? What do we need to set up for you to make that happen?" — Giselle
Practical Tips for Difficult Conversations
Reframe the Goal: Always affirm that your intention is to support their will to be independent. Explain that services—like domestic assistance or a physiotherapist visit—are the tools that take the weight off so they can stay in their home, rather than leaving it.
Highlight the Benefits, Not the Deficits: When introducing a service, focus on what they gain.
Instead of: "You need meal prep because your food is expired."
Try: "Having help with meal prep means you get to eat all your favourite nutritious food without hurting your hands chopping carrots, and you can still go out shopping with your carer for the ingredients".
Ensure Choice and Control: Reaffirming that they have choices and are in control is the most important first step. A good approach is to help them articulate their own goal, then work backwards to find the services needed to make that goal a reality.
Put Yourself in Their Shoes: As a carer, it’s easy to get caught up in your own stress and grief. Step back and consider what the losses are for your loved one—the loss of their identity, purpose (gardening, cleaning), and contribution. Services can help empower them to continue these activities.
Listen to the full episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube for more advice on navigating these tough conversations.