Finding Meaning and Purpose in the Caregiving Journey Featuring Danni Synot
Understanding Your “Why”
“Purpose is our why,” Danni shares. “It’s what drives us in life. It’s our reason for getting up each day.”
She explains that when our values and actions align, we feel grounded and fulfilled — but when they don’t, everything feels “wishy-washy.”
“If we don’t know who we are or why we’re here, everything feels unclear,” Danni says. “Knowing our purpose helps every decision we make — from relationships to careers.”
Purpose shapes how we approach caregiving. It brings clarity to what can often be an emotionally demanding role and helps us stay connected to what truly matters.
Purpose and Values in Caregiving
For many carers, purpose is rooted in compassion. “You often find people choose care work because they’ve been there,” Danni says. “They’ve supported a loved one or seen the difference care can make.”
Giselle agrees: “That’s such an important thing for both carers and organisations to consider — do our values align?”
“Exactly,” Danni responds. “When people share the same values, it’s powerful. You can teach skills, but you can’t teach heart.”
This alignment not only leads to better quality care — it builds workplaces founded on empathy, respect, and genuine connection.
From Pain to Purpose
Danni’s own work with Brave Enough reflects her belief that even the hardest experiences can lead to purpose.
“You know, we take people from pain to passion to purpose,” she explains. “Your story matters. What you’ve been through — your mess — can actually become your message.”
Many of the most compassionate carers, she says, are those who have faced challenges themselves. “When you’ve been through something difficult and someone has helped you, you naturally want to help others. That’s the beauty of caregiving — it’s often born from love.”
You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup
In the second part of the conversation, Danni opens up about her personal journey — balancing motherhood, caring responsibilities, and multiple professional roles.
“I had a point in time where I thought, Who am I anymore? I was someone’s mum, someone’s carer, someone’s colleague — but who was I at my core?”
That question led her to develop a self-discovery exercise that’s now helped many carers reconnect with themselves. With a blank sheet of paper and coloured pens, she began listing everything that brought her joy — favourite foods, people, moments, and memories.
“All of a sudden, all of these categories came out,” Danni recalls. “Who’s my authentic self? What do I love? Where do I feel safe? What makes me laugh? You start to see patterns in your life — that’s where you find meaning.”
Reconnecting with Joy
Danni discovered that joy isn’t just a feeling — it’s a source of strength.
“When you’re feeling weak or lost, the joy is missing,” she says. “You’re tired, you’re anxious, you’re overwhelmed. But when you reconnect with the things that make you laugh and feel alive, you find yourself again.”
Her list reminded her of simple but powerful joys: the smell of roast lamb that reminded her of family, the calm of sitting by the ocean, laughter with friends, hugs, and moments of playfulness.
“When you start to unpack those things, you see your core values,” she explains. “You understand what truly brings you alive — and that’s where purpose lives.”
The Reciprocity of Care
Giovanni reflected that caregiving itself is a powerful source of fulfilment.
“That’s why caregiving is so meaningful,” he said. “You directly impact the quality of someone’s life — and in doing that, you find meaning yourself.”
Danni agrees. “Healthy relationships — including caring relationships — are reciprocal,” she says. “When we refresh others, we end up being refreshed too.”
For Danni, purpose is about connection, contribution, and community — “It’s not just about us. It’s about how we give and how we care.”
Finding meaning and purpose in caregiving isn’t just about the work we do — it’s about who we are while doing it.
As Danni Synot reminds us, knowing our why helps us stay grounded through the challenges and joys of caring for others. By reconnecting with our authentic selves, rediscovering joy, and aligning our actions with our values, we not only become better carers — we live with greater fulfilment and peace.
Listen to the full episode — “Finding Meaning and Purpose in the Caregiving Journey” below.
For more resources on carer wellbeing and support, visit Carer Gateway or My Aged Care.
Full Transcription - 10 Finding Meaning and Purpose in Caregiving Feat. Danni Synot
Giselle
Hello and welcome back to another episode of conversations with G&G. Today we have a special episode lined up. Our wonderful co-host, Danni Synot will be sharing her insights on a deeply meaningful topic the role of meaning, meaning, and purpose in caregiving. Welcome Danni.
Danni
Hey, Giselle and Gio, great to be with you again.
Giselle
Thanks for coming.
Danni
It's a bit weird being on the opposite end of the, you know, questions today.
Giselle
You're in the hot seat today.
Danni
Yes, I am in the hot seat. Do I win a prize?
Giselle
Maybe we'll see what we can organize. Oh, right. So, meaning and purpose. How would you define purpose? And why is it such a vital component of our wellbeing?
Danni
Well, I think it is exactly what you say Giselle it is a very important component of our wellbeing. Because purpose is really what drives us in life. It's our why. You know, why do we exist? And you find people asking those main questions at some point in their life, especially if they're deep thinkers. You know, where do I come from? Where am I going? Why am I here? All of those deep, meaningful things. And we find that even out of that, we have things in life like our values.
You know, what do we appreciate? What do we not appreciate? What do we feel is healthy and life giving? You know what kind of pricks our conscience about things and those values, if we have conflicts with them, often make things in life really difficult. Relationships in particular, if you've got two different people, whether it's a work relationship or a marriage or, friendships, when those things are out of alignment, there's often conflict.
And a value conflict sometimes is really the hardest thing to be able to resolve. And so if we don't know who we are and what our purpose is in life and why, for example, in a relationship with a particular purpose or in a job with a particular purpose, it kind of leaves things a bit wishy washy. And we don't ever have that sense of achievement or that sense of fulfillment in our lives.
And so knowing our why, knowing our purpose is really integral to every single part of our lives and every decision that we make.
Giselle
Is it worth sometimes like if we are in a relationship been there's a clash realigning or changing slightly. So you do align with that other person or is it something that you should really stick to. Be proud of it and leave it at that?
Danni
Yeah, I think that can work both ways. But if you've got a really foundational core value right, like a typical one is, you know, I believe in God, you don't believe in God. And then there's that whole, I guess, value system because your life and your beliefs, your core beliefs are around those values.
If the other person is not on the same page, it's just not something that you can adjust because it's sort of in you and part of you. Whereas if it's something like a learned behavior or a belief. So I'll go a really, like top level one. So when my husband and I first got married and we went to live together, we were folding, washing, and I learned to fold towels, you kind of folded in half, then in half again in a kind of an oblong shape and piled up.
Mark was taught to fold it in half, in half again, it's just a flat square. And I was like, that's not how you fold towels. And he's like, no, that's not how you fold towels. And it was something that we done differently. It was a learned behavior. Yeah. And we had to get to a point of, okay, can we live with it? You know, do we compromise? Do we go, who cares how we fold the towels?
Giselle
Yeah.
Danni
Or. Well, if you want to do it that way, you know, it's not a hill I'm willing to die on. I'll just fold them in squares. We do oblongs. It's all good. I got my way in the end, and I do, you know what I'm saying?
It's that something that you really need to decide is. Is something I can live with. Or is this something that I can't? And that's why I guess in relationships in particular, it's very important to have those conversations around, you know, when we get married, how are we going to parent our kids? What do we believe on these things, you know, in the dating stages and the same thing for when we get to our careers and our jobs and as carers. You know, why do I want to be a carer.
Giselle
Yeah.
Danni
Have that self-talk first. Generally it's because you actually are someone with that inbuilt compassion. Maybe you've been in a situation where you've had a loved one that's needed care and you understand that position and you value it and you, you want to bring life and encouragement to people.
You want to be there because you're a nurturer. It's sort of in you, opposed to, hey, I just need a job. And, you know, that's easy. So I'll just go and just clean some houses and, you know, take people shopping, you know, with completely different attitudes.
Giselle
That's a good point. When, you know, if you're going, looking for work and you're doing interviews and, I think a lot of the time when the candidate goes to the interview, they might not have any questions prepared, but that's a great one. You have to find out what that employer like, do your values align?
Danni
Yeah. And it's the organisation. Like with your organisation what are the core values and the mission of your organisation? And can people work within that? Do the values align?
Giselle
Absolutely.
Danni
Some people don't even think about that. If they're just there for money or they're just there for whatever. But I think that old saying really rings true. You know, enjoy what you do and you'll never work a day in your life, you know, if you're going into it with meaning and purpose, you're going to enjoy it. You know, they'll always be elements of things that are a challenge or that we don't maybe particularly like that.
Again, we have to go, is this the hill I'm willing to die on or is this an opportunity where I can bring some wisdom or knowledge or, maybe an innovative thought that could cause some positive change, you know? So I think that all of those things are really important to know.
Giselle
Yeah.
Giovanni
And it's a good point that you raised, particularly say, for example, at an interview stage, if you're interviewing a candidate and that person has a clearly defined or some somewhat defined purpose and values that you they tell you exactly why they want to join your organisation, because his or her own values align it. That's a perfect example of a good match, someone that you want to employ, whereas someone that doesn't have a clear idea or you know, doesn't really know why. Or you can tell straight away that they might be there for the wrong reasons. And that could be a screening question that we often use. And it's really powerful.
Giselle
It is, it really is.
Danni
And it can also be an indicator of, you know, if the person's very self-aware, very well prepared, that, you know, how you might start out on one particular level, even as a caregiver, but you see that that person has a potential for more. And then even as an employer to go, okay, they've got a bit of meaning and purpose in why they want to do this role, but I actually see potential in them for future. And then being able to have an opportunity for them to maybe even grow beyond what they'd seen and have that same meaning and purpose manifest in a way that's, I guess, growing of them. And for the organization and what it can bring for them in the future. Yeah. So, you know, it can really work both ways.
But I think when we're driven internally and honestly, you know, it's huge and we enjoy life more, you know, and it's better for the people around us. I mean, you'd know what it's like to live or work with somebody who, you know, doesn't have a sense of meaning and purpose, and that can be a bit floaty. Or they do the opposite where they're not just floaty.
They might be active doing a lot of things, but they never seem to be happy because they're not there for a reason or they don't have a motivation. And I think sometimes in life to there's a principle that I teach in my coaching and ministry spaces where we sometimes take people from just the grassroots of life.
So, for example, with my organisation Brave Enough, we talk about the fact that everybody has a story, your story matters, emerge stronger, then go help the next person up. So basically, even your mess can become your message. So we take people from pain to passion to purpose, because quite often what we find is when we've had a particular struggle in life or something that's been hard, we've had someone come alongside us and mentor us, or we've found a solution that works.
Then we want to go and share that solution with other people. Because when you love something or when something's worked for you, you want to tell other people about it. To be able to help them and so I think that's the powerful thing, too. And I think a lot of people, when they, become carers, that's something that's super important to them, because they understand the value of it and then the value that they can bring to bring positive change in a positive experience to others.
Giselle
Yeah, absolutely.
Giovanni
And and sometimes, sometimes that also can happen unconsciously. You know, I want to be a carer. I don't know why. I know that I've got this caring meaning.
Danni
Yeah.
Giovanni
That I want to fulfill. And the path to, discovery, you know, it's very, very important. How do you get on that track?
Danni
I think it's different for different people, Gio. Yeah. Some people like you say it just starts off as a, you know, they’re just a nurturing person. It's just like this natural gravitation and this organic journey with other people. It can be that there's been some kind of crisis in their life or, you know, they've got this dissatisfaction and they want to seek it out.
And some people, you know, they love like the self-help type books, or they're very in tune with therapy or mentoring and those kinds of things, and they sort of pick it up along the way. Or sometimes someone will be, you know, notice a gift or, they can see, I guess, somebody's qualities and see that they're floundering a bit.
And they’ll just gently come along and say, hey, I think you'd be really great at, you know, whatever. And then if you get a really good mentor, they'll come and do that journey with you and help you to unpack that. And, you know, really important if you're going down that line to, to find a mentor that, aligns with your core values and that honestly, you know, can seek that in you.
There's a lot of people out there like coaches and things like that too. They just, you know, they are interested in making six figures and getting money out of you. You know, you don't want someone that's leading with that kind of thing. You want somebody that's, you know, maybe got a bit of a track record or that you have some recommendations from or that have the same belief system as, you know, as well.
Like for me personally, you know, I work in a Christian space because that's my personal faith and belief and value system. So I, for example, my mentors, because even mentors need mentors. You know, I work in that space. I make sure that my values are aligned in that way.
Giselle
Yeah.
Danni
Coming up underneath other people to watch them flourish and encourage them into their next place and into their meaning and purpose.
Giovanni
Yeah, yeah. No, you raised a very good point. Everybody needs a mentor or a coach. Yeah.
Danni
Really. That's right.
Giovanni
And find the right one is not just another topic, but it is a good idea
Danni
It is. And the tools that, you know, that are available for that too, I mean, there are tons of self-help and growth tools that can help you to discover your meaning and purpose.
I've got some, even that I've written that I use even myself that are unique, that help people in that process. And so one of the tools, for example, that I've worked with and, and it's been really helpful for people that are caring even for other people, is just to, I think, be in tune with the importance of self-love.
And I don't mean that in a selfish way or a narcissistic way at all, but the fact is that we can't pour into others unless we're pointing to ourselves, and sometimes we don't as carers, have anyone pouring into us. You know, we're giving all the time, we're pouring out all the time, and sometimes we can even lose ourselves in the routine and the swirl and the demands and needs of the person we're caring for.
And that's of no disrespect to the person that needs care. But if we lose ourselves in that process, it can be a really dangerous place. And I know, even for myself, I had a point in time where I was caring for three of my children. One had learning difficulties, another one had very severe anxiety and couldn't go to school, and the other one had undiagnosed ADHD and sleep apnea and restless leg syndrome.
And so, you know, it was just a big space in life. And I was in a transition at the time, and I remember I just had the urge to just sit, down and just question like, who am I anymore? Like, I'm someone's care, I'm someone's mom, I'm someone's, you know, doing radio and media and Christian ministry and everything else.
But who am I like, like at my depths, at my core. Why am I here? Like. And I'd even gotten to the point, and I think this is a huge one. And it's usually one of the first questions I will ask a client. And I'll say, okay, so what do you do to have fun?
What do you do to have fun? When was the last time you laughed your head off to the point you almost peed your pants? Like seriously? There's a scripture in, the Bible and it says the joy of the Lord is your strength. So our joy is our strength. And what you find is when you're feeling weak or when you're feeling lost, the joy is missing.
You're depressed, you're anxious, you're tired, you're exhausted, you're overwhelmed. Which is often the case for carers when they're in that space. So what I did this day, it really frightened me. I thought, this is crazy. Like I know all the things to do, but I don't know how to be. I'd become a human-doing instead of a human-being.
And so I sat there and, and I had this big blank sheet of paper and a heap of colored pens, and I said, okay, throw it up there to God, I might for you, it might be the universe or whatever. But for me, it was God knows it. What do, I who am I? What do I do? What do I like? I just like first thing that popped into my head, anything custard like that’s random. So it's like, what are the things I like to eat? One of my favorite things I'm like, okay, custard. So I said, you know, egg custard, hot custard, vanilla slice, donut king, chocolate éclair, donuts with the cream in the custard.
And then, you know, went to roast lamb. And I started to think about, you know, why do I like these things? Why are they comfort food for me? And I'm like, well, every Sunday my grandma did a roast lamb. And, you know, I can still remember walking down the hallway and just that waft of the roast lamb, you know, and that represented family time and quality.
And that's what brought the joy. So I literally did categories. So I went, okay, what do I like to eat? What are the things I like to do to relax? I like someone drawing on my back and I can just relax, that skin contact,I love hugs, I love a massage, I love sitting by the ocean. And all of a sudden all of these categories, who's my authentic self?
Like, if I could just go and buy whatever clothes I wanted, what would I wear? I'd go shabby chic. I'd go with my holy jeans and you know, and where are the places that I've never been that I'd love to go or where are my favorite places? Who are the safe people that I've got in my corner? You know, my really close, safe friends. And what does that look like? And you know what? Things make me laugh out loud. What's one of my go tos is if I need a laugh like, is it a funny movie? Is it a particular friend that just is a jokestar? Is it just pulling out the pranks at home and tying my kids shoelaces together with all their pairs of shoes, which I've done before. Or waiting for my husband to fall asleep and filming it for Facebook and writing ‘hi’ on his head between snores and, you know, whatever, whatever that is for you. Right?
Giovani
Poor Mark.
Danni
Yes. But I developed a whole tool out of that because it was so helpful for me to just reconnect with myself. And then, you know, what am I on the planet to do? And, you know, before I talked about having mentors that bring that out. So let me give you an example in that space, because I think for our carers, it can be important not only to have those people, but to draw on previous experiences where people have pulled that out of us.
And so I remember one day sitting in, in the office of, a television network that I was working for at the time when I was, hosting a news and current affairs program, and I was just sitting there talking with the CEO, and we got into a bit of a deep and meaningful conversation. And, you know, I was sort of struggling with what next and where am I?
And, you know, what's my journey? And he said something really profound but so simple. Yeah, it was just so simple but significant. And he said, Danielle, if you were to die tomorrow, for what would you want to be remembered? And straight off my head I said she loved. And he said, then go do that. Then go do that.
And so I know my core value is to love people, to encourage people to bring out the best in people. And so that nurturing, compassionate side of things, you know, was good. I love making people laugh, then go do that and make people laugh. And so for people when they're in that situation, if you were to die today or if you die tomorrow, for what would you want to be remembered?
And if you're not aligning with that, you're not doing that. You know? And the funny thing is, you know, in life we value things like money and success because we feel like that brings freedom, but that always comes with a price, okay? Whether it's our time giving us ulcers, you know, having all that stress and money and those things aren't bad in themselves.
But if, if we're doing it to get or we're doing it to, build the eventual thing, none of us are guaranteed tomorrow and we're just not.
Giselle
So true.
Danni
You know, and so it's not that those things aren't important. They are very important. And they can make life a lot easier. But if we don't have that meaning and purpose and we don't know what our lane is as we're traveling along in life, then it gets complicated.
You know, and when we stay in our own lane, there's no traffic because it's ours. Yeah, right. We can make our own way, and it doesn't mean we don't have challenges and things to deal with.
Giovanni
So, Danni, can I ask you? You were saying you need to find out all the stuff that you love and try to do those, and the. How does all that help you find your meaning and purpose? What, where's that connecting dots there?
Danni
Yeah. So when you start to unpack, even for example, like what I said about those lists, we start to see patterns in life. So we then start to look at okay, obviously, you know, compassion is a big component or encouragement is a big component. So they’re what we would call ‘gifts’ that we have in life, you know, when you look at what are the things that have worked really well in my journey, what are the things that people reflect back to me that they say are strengths? Right.
Giovanni
So the stuff that you enjoy and love basically follow your bliss. Right? That's what people say, and that's what gives you the juice.
Danni
Yeah. But the things that cause a positive effect on others and in the world, okay. Because it's actually not about us. It's not all about us. And if we're not looking after one another, then we're actually not fulfilled. You know, it actually becomes very empty.
It's why we seek connection in friendships and partnerships in life, you know? And so we can go to a job and we can do the job really well and we can earn a lot of money. But if we don't love it, if we don't like it, if it's not causing positive change, then there's no long term fulfillment in it, you know, and
Giovanni
It's about giving and contribution. It's why the job of the career as a carer is so fulfilling and so powerful, because you, you directly impact the quality of life of people.
Danni
Yeah.
Giovanni
And as a result it just fulfills that sort of, you know, meaning. In itself.
Danni
Yeah, that's it. And we've got, you know, basic needs and you know, you can go to modern models like, you know, Maslow's hierarchy of needs and things like that, which, you know, works off a pyramid structure. And, you know, yeah, we need food and we need shelter. We need clothing and all that, or, you know.
Giovanni
All that is basic needs that need to be met before you can go to the next level. Right.
Danni
But love, you know, to be fully sane, fully known, fully loved, to be able to give and receive love at the core basics of that, if we don't have it, we don't survive.
And if you look at, I guess, even nature, right? You look at the whole, the way everything's been created, you take dirt is a whole bunch of vitamins and minerals and nutrients in dirt that are also present in our human bodies. So, you know, you have fruit trees and vegetables and things that grow, and we eat the fruit and then that goes back into nature.
Same with the rain, you know, it comes down, it waters the earth, and then the sun comes in and warms it up, and the moisture takes everything, gives and receives everything’s reciprocal. Healthy relationships, you know, in a healthy relationship, you're both pouring out. You're both giving and you're both receiving. And so it's the same with, with our jobs as carers.
We give and then we get joy because we know we're doing well. So it's like when we refresh other people, we end up being refreshed as well. And so, you know, at the core, if we are walking into that space when we're caring for others and we're already depleted, we don't have anything to give or we're not really in, we're not going to be fulfilled.
But the opposite is also true. If we're there with the right purpose and the right heart, and we know that we are where we need to be. Man, that's powerful. It's really, really powerful.
Giselle
I'm so mesmerized hearing you speak because it's such an amazing reminder to, you know, every day. You're right. We're not guaranteed tomorrow. We need to be thinking about what we're doing and why we are doing it and making sure that it's meaningful. I've loved hearing you. It's been amazing having you and giving us this talk about how we can find our own meaning and purpose. So thank you so much for coming in.
Danni
Very welcome.
Giovanni
That’s great, thank you.